Ruminating on "Deep Thoughts"

I need to post something so I will steal from Jack Handey since he is a pretty funny guy. Here are some of his "Deep Thoughts":

"Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny."

"I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky." Just then the eclipse would start, and they'd probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh."

"One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I thank that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late."